


He's Gonna Save Me, Call Me 'My Dear,' Run His Hands Through My Hair

by KillerQueeenBee



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Crowley has Trauma from the Fall (Good Omens), Hurt, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-02
Updated: 2020-03-02
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:22:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,928
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22985524
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KillerQueeenBee/pseuds/KillerQueeenBee
Summary: Crowley experiences a massive amount of hurt as a reminder of his Fall and Aziraphale tries to help him.Please ignore any and all typos. We die like men: without betas and without editing.Title is a play on Hozier~
Relationships: Aziraphale & Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 57





	He's Gonna Save Me, Call Me 'My Dear,' Run His Hands Through My Hair

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Puckabrinaluver](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Puckabrinaluver/gifts).



It was a weird thing that happened to Crowley every once in a while. It wasn't every year, or every century, or even every millennium. It had happened only twice in Crowley's lifetime, and he couldn't quite figure out the rhyme or reason to when it happened. It just... Did. One of those times had been in Hell, the other on Earth. He wished he understood.

If God was still in the habit of talking to Her children, She would explain that it was the anniversary of Crowley's Fall. She wished he didn't have to suffer so, but some things were out of even Her control.

It always started with Crowley's wings, at the very base, where they met his back. It was a dull ache, at first, but as time went on it felt like fire shooting up the length of his wings and engulfing them completely. And it only got worse from there.

When Crowley first felt the beginnings of that pain this time around, he was sitting with his head in Aziraphale's lap as the angel read some book or other and played with his hair. It was getting long again, as Aziraphale had suggested he should grow it out if he liked, and he did like it, really. The longer it was, the easier it was to casually switch from gender to gender as he pleased. 

Some days, when they were lucky, and the sun was out, they'd go into the garden and have a little picnic which usually ended in Aziraphale braiding flowers into his hair. Days here in the South Downs were different. There was no hustle or bustle, no urgency to do anything at all, really. Which was just what they had needed, after the ApocaNope. 

Things were always so peaceful here, so when Crowley's wings started to ache, he didn't give it the proper attention. He instead rolled over to press his face into Aziraphale's thigh and bare his back to the open air. It didn't make a difference. Wings that lived primarily in ether didn't feel differently pressed into a sofa or skyward and free of obstruction. 

He let out a sigh and tried to focus on the hand that was stratching lightly at the back of his neck now. It was nice, and Crowley could nearly forget about what was inevitably to come. But alas, no demon could be so lucky. Especially not him. He had hoped Aziraphale would want to get up to get a new book soon or hot cocoa or anything at all, but he didn't. Aziraphale could sit in the same exact position and read a book all the way through, no matter how many hours it took. 

Crowley had to think of a good excuse, and quick. He was beginning to feel imaginary flames licking at his wings. "Angel, let me up, I suddenly feel the urge to go to London and glue coins to the ground. For old time's sake." He said, lifting his head just a little. 

Aziraphale set down his book to look down properly at Crowley. "My dear, you usually love to sit like this for hours. Especially when the sun's shining in like this. What's wrong?" He asked softly, hand moving down to rub at Crowley's back to try to soothe him back down and get him talking.

Crowley bit down on a whine when Aziraphale touched him right where his wings met his back, the place where it currently hurt the most. He arched his back and bit his tongue. "Nothing." He said quickly, and it was nothing short of completely unconvincing. 

Aziraphale lifted his hand quickly, and became perfectly still. Something was very wrong with his darling demon, and he had absolutely no idea what that could be. "Crowley. Tell me what's wrong." He said, in his absolutely-no-room-for-argument voice. It wasn't a request, because Crowley for some reason thought he could get out of requests. 

"It hurts." Crowley whispered. He just wanted to suffer in peace, alone, but his angel seemed to have other plans, and Crowley was starting to lose his will to go anywhere. "Please, angel... They hurt." He said, and he didn't even know what he was asking for anymore. The pain had started to spread all across his wings.

Aziraphale understood what Crowley meant when he said 'They hurt.' He very carefully placed his hand on Crowley's back, right where his wings would be. He closed his eyes and focused all his angelic grace through his hand. "You're alright, my dear boy." He said softly.

It didn't stop the pain, whatever the heaven Aziraphale was doing, but it helped ease it, just a little. Crowley wrapped his arms tightly around Aziraphale's thigh and just held on to him. "I'll be okay." He said softly. Whether it was reassurance for Aziraphale, or a reminder for himself, Crowley wasn't sure. He would be okay, eventually, but it would be hell until he was.

Aziraphale stroked Crowley's back in small, gentle circles, trying to work some healing power into his demon. He wasn't exactly sure what was happening, but he very well couldn't ask Crowley just then. He miracled them into their large, shared bed, and nudged Crowley to let go of his leg. "I'm not going anywhere. Just let go for me, will you please, dearest?" He said gently.

Crowley was vaguely aware of the world around him, but the pain was getting worse. Aziraphale was trying so hard to make him feel better, but nothing in the universe hurt this much except the Fall, and nothing was more powerful than that. He gripped tighter on Aziraphale's leg at the words. Whatever Aziraphale wanted to do, he didn't want to let go for anything. " 'S like Falling." He mumbled, grip staying firm. He did not want to be without something to hold. 

Aziraphale frowned when Crowley said it was like Falling. That was such a terrible thing, what could possibly be the reason for hurting Crowley so right now? He pulled Crowley up and into his lap and placed a pillow under his head. He rubbed Crowley's back firmly with both hands, pushing into it all the love and healing that he had in him. "Is this helping at all, my dear?" He asked gently.

Crowley fisted his hands in the pillow and pressed his face into it, trying desperately to keep quiet. He nodded is little when Aziraphale asked if he was helping. He was, really, but Crowley was still in plenty of pain. His spine throbbed and his eyes burned and he just wanted it all to stop. Were he alone, this was probably the point where he'd start writhing around.

Aziraphale miracled away Crowley's clothes and leaned down to press a kiss to Crowley's naked back. Perhaps he'd read too many novels, or maybe he was just a romantic, but he somehow hoped the power of love would make Crowley feel better. He also sent up a silent prayer to the Almighty, asking Her to please help Crowley in any way She could. Crowley had never done a truly bad thing in his life, he didn't deserve this.

Crowley curled up into a ball in Aziraphale's lap, wrapping his arms tight around his middle and pressing his face into the angel's soft stomach. "Gah!" He whimpered as a spasm wracked his body sending a jolt of pain down his spine.

Aziraphale was getting rather upset that nothing he was doing seemed to be working as well as he'd hoped. "Oh, Crowley. I've got you, my dear boy." He pulled Crowley up a little bit so he could rest the demon's head on his shoulder and he held Crowley close to his chest. Aziraphale then pulled his wings out of ether and wrapped them firmly around Crowley and himself. It created a soft and safe space that he hoped would help Crowley, if not physically, then at least mentally.

Crowley bit down unsuccessfully on a scream when the worst of it washed over him. It was an indescribable pain, and though it was over in a moment, his entire body felt the aftershocks of it. He let out a sob and his body went slack but he was crying uncontrollably.

Aziraphale felt the scream pierce his heart, and when Crowley started sobbing, he couldn't help it as he began to cry. "I'm so sorry, dearheart. I'm so sorry. You deserve so much better." He whispered, frowning as he realized he was crying all over Crowley's naked back. "Oh, I'm so sorry." He tried to wipe his tears off of Crowley, and he felt so helpless. If he couldn't help his love, what could he do?

Crowley stiffened for a moment as something truly strange happened. As Aziraphale's tears dripped down his back, he felt himself being relieved of the pain. It seemed washed away, just like that. He pulled back to look at Aziraphale, struggling to wipe away his own tears so he could actually see his angel. "That worked." He whispered, his wide yellow eyes reflecting how astonished he was. "Angel, you've fixed me. You stopped it." The pain was gone, and in its place was only a touch of soreness.

Aziraphale blinked at Crowley for a moment, dumbfounded. "It... Worked?" He echoed. "Crying helped heal you?" He was having a hard time grasping the concept, but Crowley seemed so relieved and excited, that it must have been true. "Oh, my dear. I'm so glad." He kissed Crowley's forehead before he rested his own against it and just held his demon close. "I'm so sorry you had to go through that."

Crowley closed his eyes and let himself relax. Aziraphale had him, and he was safe. He wasn't hurting anymore. "Thank you, angel." He said softly, voice feather-light on the air. He hugged Aziraphale close and rubbed his back gently. "I'm sorry I upset you." He mumbled.

"No, dear boy, don't apologize. You can't control what happened to you, and I wouldn't have it any other way." Aziraphale assured. "I'd rather be here, with you, and upset than to think of you out there alone, hurting." His arms tightened around Crowley. "Don't ever try to hide anything like that from me again, do you understand? Promise me you won't ever go sneaking off because you're worried about what I'll think. I'm here for you, unconditionally."

Crowley sighed softly, but gave a little nod. "I promise." He pressed a gentle kiss to Aziraphale's lips. "And I'm here for you too. Okay? Unconditionally." He reached up to cup Aziraphale's cheek, his thumb wiping away the lingering wetness there.

Aziraphale squeezed Crowley and leaned into his hand just a little. "Let's take a bath, my dear." He suggested, and before Crowley knew it they both were in the tub which fit them perfectly and was filled with warm water which smelled like vanilla and pine, which was somehow very soothing.

Plenty of soft touches were exchanged and the two managed over time to properly relax together and start to recover. The water never got cold because they expected as much, and when they finally got out there was plenty of cuddling done in bed before they considered doing anything else. 

When morning came, the sun shone bright and warm, which allowed a certain angel and demon to have a lovely brunch out in the garden together. The angel ate his fill and then tended to the needy demon's desire to have flowers in his hair, and they had not a care in the world.


End file.
